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You can say that I’m one curly fry in a box of the regular September 26, 2007

Posted by Jae in Me, myself, and I, Yummy!.
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This morning I felt like having a muffin for breakfast so I stopped by a little coffee shop on my way to work. After tearing off a couple of pieces, I made an unsettling discovery: bits of the inside of the muffin appeared to be moldy. Whether it actually was mold or just some unknown muffin phenomenon, I do not know, but I decided it was better safe than sorry and threw it away. This left me with a breakfast comprised solely of mango slices.

I love mango slices as much as the next person–maybe even more so, but a filling breakfast they aren’t. At eleven, not quite ready for lunch, I decided to make that 100 calorie bag of popcorn I’ve had at my desk for the past few days.

While my corn was a-poppin’ I made a passing comment to my coworker about using popcorn to make up for my lack of a filling breakfast, to which she said:

“Well, you had that mango.”

And it made me kind of sad. Okay, I won’t lie: first it made me freak out to the tune of “OH NOOOES OMG SHE THINKS I’M TEH FAT.” What can I say? Old habits die hard.

Once I mentally smacked some sense into myself I realized that this was really a much more telling comment about the way we think about food. There was a point where I would have agreed with her; I would’ve said that yes, a few chunks of mango did make a tasty breakfast, and oh boy I was full up until my lunch of 90 calories worth of tuna and a big ol’ lettuce leaf. I spent a long time making food my enemy, and I did my best to convince myself and everyone else that I didn’t need it.

And it still goes on today. I went out for dinner tonight with my best friend and I had a turkey sandwich and she had a fruit salad (not because she was trying to diet, but because she had eaten a big lunch late in the day) and I still found myself trying to pawn half my sandwich off on her. However, I still managed to eat what I wanted of it and the world managed not to end.

It’s only been a few days, but I think I might really get to like this not-torturing myself stuff.


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